Or perhaps I just miss the veil that had hitherto covered my eyes. Afterall, your reality is only as real as what your mind makes of it. Maybe I miss not knowing things, not having experienced larger degrees of everyday emotions or not having grown as much in thought and in character. These three sentences are just my obnoxious way of saying that I miss the innocence of how everything used to be. I know what I've left behind and I more or less know what to expect in what's to come, but nothing brings joy. The only pleasure you get from reminiscing is a sorrowful one, of happy tales that have ended. And my thoughts of the future have been. Methodical. No sex before marriage. No marriage before graduation. No graduation before acceptance letter. No acceptance letter before disciplined studying. It's strange to think that I presumably have the power to pursue anything I want and the freedom to be whoever I'd like to be. But I suppose I am a captive to my own mind, to the way I've been brought up to think- of a future that is stable, warm and normal. I am a free person. I live in a free country. I can be whoever I want to be. But my mind will never let me. We are all but prisoners to our thoughts. And by extension, the environment or people or culture that has shaped us to think in such a way. 9 year old me: I'd very much like to be a wildlife presenter. Or to constantly be travelling the world. That is not acceptable. How would your future be stable. What kind of environment is that for children to grow up in. I am free. And I live in Singapore. What is a good compromise.. Yes yes. Vet, it has to be the next best thing that satisfies the criteria for a successful future. Yes. I want to be a vet I want to be a vet I want to be a vet- There is nothing else, I will be a vet. You see, it has never been a very noble start to a dream. I compromised and taught myself to yearn for it. We are all but prisoners.

So what then, is freedom.