Needless to say, 2011 has been a major milestone for me. Australia. I needn't say more. And the things I've learnt are indispensable, the friends I've made and kept, invaluable. I'm not bitter anymore about having lost so many people. When I look at all the people that have walked me through my lonliest time, I feel a lightening of the heart, I may not still have hundreds of friends, but I suppose, cheesy as it is, it's really shown me that I actually only need these people truly close to me to get me by. I think the whole "It has proven to me who my true friends are" line may not be as accurate as I had originally thought it was. The friends that I've lost; some of them were dear to me, and I don't think not surviving the distance is an indication of the sincerity of the relationship whilst it was on-going. Of the people I'm still really close to, I can literally not talk to them for months and come back and everything's as it was. For others, it just doesn't work. I don't know the mechanics of this, but I've learnt to just accept it, no bitterness, no malice, no judgement. To my parents, for giving me opportunities others would kill to have, for working 12 houred days or 7 days a week to pay for my extremely costly education (and too-frequent injuries). To the people I do not know that patronize this page or silently will me on. To the people that still take me, for all my bouts of depression, crazy antics and occasional conceit, that always welcome me home with open arms yet send me off hopeful, to the friends that make me sad in Australia because they aren't there with me; I'm glad to have met you and I'm so glad that you are here.

Regardless, I've made it. I can't regret Australia because I've made it into vet school. I can now say that I'd have had to leave anyway. To this, to God be the glory.

So. 2012. I have my worries. What if I can't make the right friends in uni. What if I can't cope with the studying. What if what if what if. I'm already worrying about every emotional, educational and financial aspect of what's to come. So much so that I haven't allowed myself to relish in the fact that I'm about to truly start my pursuit to be a vet surgeon. I'm forcing myself to be hopeful.

I have not made any concrete resolutions because if I want to change something, I'll decide to do it when I decide I want to do it. It doesn't have to be the 1st of january. Afterall, I've seen my perspective of things so thoroughly challenged and flipped upside down this past year. But I'd like to look to this year with hope. To be more open, to recieve the other sides of a story without fear of it challenging my own perspective. I'd like to be more daring- not promiscuous- to further step out of my comfort zones and reserves, to talk to strangers and enjoy the stupidity of things sometimes. To be a little less depressing, to be a realist that isn't cynical. I look to this new beginning with hope, for the first time, without fearing that this hope might serve to dissapoint me.

2012, give chase.

`jol