The holiday has flown by and I'm glad to have been able to visit my relatives. It's been a bittersweet occasion and I find myself experiencing pangs of inexplicable sadness about growing up and leaving what seemed like a worry-free life behind. My great grandmother is 98 this year. She no longer remembers who I am and seemed terrified as my grand uncle wheeled her out to greet the family. Her bony hands fidgeted in her lap reminding me of sparrows, their little jerky movements only seemed to expound on their fear as they quivered under 20 people's gaze. Mom says she can still feel but she can't make her body respond- she's trapped in her own body. A stoic expression on her face she sat quiet and unmoving the entire 20 minutes she was allowed out of her bed. Her eyes watered in contrast to the grim unmoving expression as my mom placed a cheek against hers. I wanted to snap a picture, to remember her. But I couldn't. It seemed so rude, so brazen, too insensitive. It made me sad. Things end and we die and although it's natural, it makes me sad and I want a hug. I've been meeting up with some old friends (and making some new ones too (: ) and realize I will not get a single day off to myself to just rest. I haven't had a day alone In weeks and will be busy catching up with various people until Bob flys over this weekend. But I'm not complaining. There is plenty of time to rest- to be lonely- when I return to Perth.

I have yet to turn on my laptop in a month (have been using phone or iPad) or so but I'm excited to review what little pictures I have taken and allow myself to reflect upon the experience of the SEA trip. May I just add it was a 6 hour bus ride from Singapore to KL, a 2 hour flight from KL to Siem Reap in Cambodia, a 6 hour boat ride to Phnom Penh then a 15 hour bus ride crossing the Cambodia-Thai border to BangKok, a 12 hour bus ride to Krabi, an hour van and boat ride to Tonsai then finally a 2 hour flight back to Singapore. It overwhelms me when I think about how much we have travelled and I'm truly humbled to have walked amongst the poorest of poors and to experience their ways of life. We have stayed in 4stars hotels, houses of friends as well as straw huts with no electricity, warm water, flushing or even a reliable security system. The grime and sweat on my skin has only served to make me more appreciative of the comforts I have at home- as well as a maid to do your laundring and cleaning chores. I'll upload pictures soon after I will myself to clean my room and all the other stuff I've neglected to do. Also, Bob is coming this Saturday- To Singapore! I'm so excited. Not so much because I've missed him in the 3 days we've been apart (although I do, to a sickening extent) but because I feel like I finally get to show him these places that make me feel like me. In Australia it's so different, it's like I clam up and can't bring myself to talk to strangers or be outgoing. Yet none of my Singaporean friends would believe I have problems with making friends there because I'm simply too friendly in their eyes. But confidence is fleeting, it seeps away and out of my pores until I am utterly drained of hope, optimism or self-assurance. In australia, I'm a different person. So it excites me that I get to show my boyfriend a part of me that I'm never going to be in his country, until I can call it home.